Newswire: Saving the Environment

You’re at a vegetarian restaurant with Julie, the hippie chick from your fitness club. It’s your first date, and things are going nicely when, across the room, there’s a loud clank of silverware. You glance over and see the environment stagger away from its table, grasping its throat.
A seemingly endless moment passes as the diners watch in stunned horror. Even the waiter is frozen. You’re the first to take action. Leaping out of your chair, you race over and successfully perform the…


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